Guarding an Angel
by Purrrin
Summary: Castiel is assigned to someone else as guardian angel. Dean gets jealous. Dean/Castiel


**Guarding an Angel  
**

**Author's Note:** Just a short story that came to my mind yesterday because I really love those jealousy scenarios XD I hope you enjoy it!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters, sadly.

* * *

Dean watched the angel leave as he did every night and it broke his heart once again. Each day it became worse for him to take the thought that his angel was leaving to meet with some other guy. It had been a week now since Castiel had told him about his new obligations.

"_So we start hunting that thing tonight, right?" Sam had asked with determination in his voice. "Cas, will you come with us?"_

"_I can't" the angel had replied against all expectations. "I am expected somewhere else tonight."_

_Dean had frowned at his words and given the angel a suspicious look. "And where could that be?"_

"_I've been assigned the duties of guardian angel for a man called Matt Bethan living in Fremont, Nebraska."_

"_You have what?" Dean had paused for a moment as that sudden revelation started to manifest inside his brain._

"_I will be his guardian angel from now on" Castiel had repeated and left._

At first, Dean had not spent too much thought on it. After all, Castiel had always left and returned as he pleased anyway. But with each passing day, the idea of his angel being attached to and concerned about someone else made his guts twist in displeasure.

"_So what are your duties as guardian angel anyway?" Dean had asked the angel one day._

"_Various things" Castiel had replied shortly._

"_Like? Saving him from danger?"_

"_Yes, but he probably won't walk in front of a car every day. So usually it's providing emotional comfort and compassion."_

"_Hm." _

Dean had not been able to not tell exactly why the sound of these words hurt his heart the way they did. All this time he had taken Castiel for granted but now, as the angel's time and attention was focused on someone else, he couldn't help feeling… _jealous_.

Although Castiel was still returning to Sam and Dean from time to time, Dean caught himself prying into the angel's business as much as he could.

"_So, how is he? That Matt guy you need to protect?" Dean had asked after Castiel's first visit to his new charge._

"_He's very nice" Castiel had replied to Dean's resentment. "He's a very reverent boy with a good heart."_

"_Aha." Dean had found himself wondering whether this statement was some kind of stealth dig at himself. "Well, that's good."_

"_Yes."_

"_Yeah."_

It was now – watching Castiel leave once again to visit his charge – that Dean decided it was time to take a closer look at that Matt guy and the nature of his relationship with Castiel. In the shelter of the nightly darkness he drove though the streets of Fremont until he found the house Matt lived in.

A sudden surge of guilt dried his throat as he got out of the car and started sneaking around the house. There was light coming from one of the rooms on the second floor. Dean decided to climb one of the trees in the garden in order to catch a glimpse of the interior.

Seconds later he spotted his angel sitting on a chair next to the bed. There was a guy lying in bed, Dean assumed it had to be Matt. He was looking quite young but Dean figured his age to be around twenty five. The window was open so he could hear their muffled voices.

"It depends" Castiel said calmly and looked down at the guy. "We usually do."

"And how long have you been around on Earth?" Matt asked curiously, the blanket pulled up to his chin like a little child.

"It's almost two years now" Castiel replied.

"And you've never been on Earth before?"

"Never."

Dean shifted on the branch he was sitting on. It was an initial dislike towards Matt he felt rising inside his chest. That guy was obviously playing the innocent, curious child to lure Castiel towards him. Deep inside, however, Dean knew that his anger was mainly directed at himself because he had never shown any interest whatsoever in Castiel's background and his past. Hell, he didn't even know Castiel's age. Dean started to feel sad about it. It was like a missed opportunity to him and that Matt guy took it with glee.

"Since I was a little kid I always dreamed an angel would come and now… you're here with me." Matt whispered and smiled at the angel.

Dean had to suppress the urge to throw up. _That bloody son of a bitch_! How dare he talk to Castiel as if he was _his_ personal angel?! For an instant Dean simply wanted to rush inside and drag Castiel away from that guy. But his curiosity made him stay and keep watching.

Matt's voice was merely a whisper. "I cannot thank God enough for sending you to me. It gives me confidence in the future."

"You don't have to be afraid" Castiel replied reassuringly and gently touched Matt's cheek. "As long as I'm with you, no harm will ever come to you."

Matt nodded and pulled the blanket up to his chin.

"Sleep now" Castiel said and left.

Dean closed his eyes in despair. There were so many emotions stirring inside his chest. Relief, that Castiel had left and he didn't have to watch any more of this; Anger, at that stupid kid for drawing Cas' attention on him; Jealousy ,that he wasn't the one Castiel pledged his loyalty to; Remorse, that he had let Castiel slip away.

But there was a painful realization inside his heart that made him lose all will to fight.

He was in love with Castiel, Dean finally accepted it as a fact. He was in love with him. There was no other explanation why it hurt so much to see those two together. There was no other explanation for all the feelings inside his heart.

But how could he ever tell the angel? Castiel would reject him, condemn his feelings and he would lose everything that was left between Cas and him. And even if not, now that Castiel had a new charge, his feelings were doomed from the very beginning.

Dean turned around and lowered his head in resignation. There was nothing he could do in order to win Castiel back…

* * *

Castiel looked around him in confusion. "Dean?!" To his surprise, the motel room was empty even though he could see that Sam and Dean's belongings were still lying around on the beds and the floor. Maybe they had gone out on a mission, Castiel thought and was about to leave again, as suddenly the door opened and Dean entered the room.

"Cas! Did that son of a bitch give you the day off?"

"Hello, Dean" Castiel simply replied. "Where have you been?"

"What a silly question, Cas. It's Sunday morning. I've been to the church of course." Dean put his jacket down.

Castiel tilted his head with a quizzically look on his face. "_You_? To the _church_?"

"Yes. Is that so unbelievable?"

Castiel didn't reply.

Dean put on a content expression. "Ah, it was really great today. Totally awesome and interesting. You should have heard the preaching. Excellent! It's a shame you weren't there, but..."

"Dean, you're scaring me" the angel said with a wary tone of voice.

"Why? Don't you like me going to church?" Dean put on an innocent expression.

"Yes, I do" Castiel replied quickly. "I'm just surprised."

Dean couldn't help suppressing a smirk. He had just scored a few Brownie points with the angel. If he went on like that he might actually be able to win the angel back. And he would do anything to prove Castiel that he could be way more pious and devoted than Matt ever was.

It lifted Dean's spirits a lot and he felt more confident than before, until Castiel started talking about Matt again.

"I'm happy to see that you have taken new faith, Dean" the angel started. "You see, Matt is a very devout person, too. He thinks only of others and never of himself."

Great. Simply going to church every Sunday would not be enough to match Matt's perfectness. The way, however, Castiel spoke of him made Dean feel uncomfortable. Could it be that the angel had feelings for his new charge? That would be horrible! It would mean the end of the world to Dean. He had to know.

"Say, Cas, does Matt have a girlfriend by any chance?" he started cautiously.

"A girlfriend?" Castiel blinked. "No. He's still a virgin."

Dean widened his eyes. "What?! He's twenty five!"

"Chastity is one of the Seven Virtues, Dean. Angels are drawn to them."

"Great." Dean rolled his eyes. _Dammit_! If Castiel was coming up with the Seven Virtues now, Dean would mess up! That Matt guy was so much better than him. There was no way Dean could ever win against him. He was too perfect, probably fulfilling all Seven Virtues… And what did Castiel just say with angels being drawn to these Virtues? If that was really the case, and – considering the way Matt had been slobbering over Castiel that night – Dean feared Matt wouldn't stay a virgin for too long…

The thought of them going for each other made his blood boil with fury. _That must never happen_! Suddenly he felt a strong pressure on him to confess his feelings to Castiel. Maybe this was his last opportunity!? But he was not prepared at all! He didn't know what to say, but he knew he had to. Now.

"Hey, Castiel." He turned around to face the angel. "If angels are drawn to the Virtues, then you're certainly repelled by me."

There was almost a slight smile on Castiel's lips as he replied: "No, Dean, I'm certainly not repelled by you."

The words gave Dean courage as his heart jumped with joy for a blissful second. "That's good." He took a deep breath. "Listen, Cas. There is something I need you to know." He turned his head because he suddenly felt himself unable to look the angel in the eyes. "This is not easy for me, but-"

"Just give me a second" Castiel lifted his hand and closed his eyes as if he was listening to something very closely.

Dean swallowed.

"I'm sorry, Dean, I have to go. It's Matt. He's praying to me."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Cas!" Dean grabbed the angel's arm. "You can't just leave now, I haven't told you-"

"I have to go" Castiel interrupted. "Please let me go."

"Why?!" Disappointment and anger started to rise inside Dean's chest. "That stupid son of a bitch'll have to wait. I was here first! All I hear is from you is _Matt, Matt, Matt_. He just rings and you obey?!"

"He is my charge. It is my duty to do so." Castiel was facing Dean's gaze challengingly.

"And what about me?!" Dean yelled. "Did you ever spend a single thought on how I might be feeling about this? Why are you choosing him over me?!"

"All I ever did for you, Dean, I did of my own free will, not because of some duty." Castiel glared at him. "I'm not obliged to visit you or spend time with you. You're not my charge, Dean. You never were and you will never be." With those words Castiel disappeared leaving Dean shaken and lost.

Dean closed his eyes to suppress the tears. He loved him. He loved him so much. And he had lost him. All because of some bloody son of a bitch! The rage inside Dean's chest had no limits.

* * *

The moonlight fell through the curtains of the room. Matt was sleeping peacefully, when a soft noise made him wake up for a second. He sighed and turned around, pulling the blanket over his head.

Suddenly two strong hands grabbed his throat with force.

Matt opened his eyes in shock. There was a man sitting over him, his eyes reflecting the moonlight threateningly. He tried to scream but there was not a single sound coming from his mouth. He struggled for air.

Dean looked down at the young man who was barely fighting back. There was fear and panic in his face, but Dean didn't let go. The rage inside his chest had made him forget about mercy. He had taken Castiel away from him and Dean would make him pay.

Suddenly Dean felt himself being pulled away from Matt, strong hands slamming him against the wall.

"What do you think you're doing?" Castiel hissed at him.

Dean glared back. He could feel Castiel's body against his own. His lips were so close Dean had to resist the urge to kiss him. "Let go of me", he snapped instead and struggled against the angel's grip.

Castiel however didn't back off. "Are you mad?! Do you even realize what you just did?"

"I didn't succeed" Dean countered and threw a deadly glare at Matt, who was sitting on the bed gasping for air.

"You attacked my charge! It is my duty to protect him! How could you!" Castiel shook him heavily.

Dean held his breath. Guilt started to replace the anger inside his heart. "Cas…" he whispered slowly. "I'm sorry…"

"I don't care. Stay away from him." There was no emotion in the angel's eyes. "Or I will kill you."

* * *

Those words had hurt Dean more than he could have imagined. _Or I will kill you_. Never before had he seen such a menacing look in Castiel's eyes. Unmerciful. And… disappointed. Dean had disappointed the angel. He had attacked his charge, the one Castiel needed to protect. He had given him the choice between Matt and himself. But it was a choice that had already been decided for Castiel.

Castiel had had no other chance than protecting Matt because that was the job of a guardian angel.

Still, Dean suffered. Night and day. He couldn't think of another possibility than to tell Castiel the truth about his feelings. Maybe the angel would understand.

However, Castiel had prohibited him to come near Matt again, so the only way for him to reach the angel was to write a letter. And so he took a pencil and a sheet of paper and started writing from his heart.

* * *

There was noise at the door and Castiel startled up. He had been sitting on watch all day in case Dean would return to kill Matt.

He went down the stairs and towards the front door. There was nobody there but a letter on the floor. Castiel picked it up. It had his name written on the envelope.

Suspicious he opened it and began reading.

_Cas,_

_I am not good at writing letters. I've never been. The last letter I wrote was probably sometime during elementary school. But I don't know what else to do._

_I wish I could tell you how sorry I am. I disappointed you and I hope you'll be able to forgive me one day. I never meant to do this. You know me so well. You always have. But there are still some things you don't know that I need you to know. So now I'm gonna tell you everything. What you don't know is that your eyes are beautiful. What you don't know is that your small imperfections are what make me whole. You don't know that I hold my breath whenever you're around because I fear the moment you leave again. I lie awake at night wishing you were here with me and in the shadows of my heart I've already kissed you because I love you._

_And now I gotta tell you how I feel about you, 'cause I can't go on without your love. I feel like the moon circling around Earth, because you caught me with your gravity I can't seem to escape from. You're my first thought when I wake up in the morning and my last thought before I fall asleep at night. I don't know if angels are even able to feel love the way humans do, but if so, and in case you feel the same about me, return to me._

_Yours, Dean_

_

* * *

_

Dean looked out of the window and sighed. He had given up hope. Castiel would throw the letter away without reading it. Or he would read it and throw it away afterwards. Either way, the outcome was already fixed. His efforts were in vain. He had lost Castiel forever and the worst thing about it was that it was his own fault. He had acted like a psychotic ex-lover stalking his girlfriend, except he wasn't Castiel's lover and – now – he would never be.

Now, he would never get the chance to ask Castiel about his life, his past. Castiel would never sit on a chair next to his bed and stroke his cheek with fond affection in his eyes. They would never lie together in the darkness of the night. Never. Dean sighed again.

At first he thought he had just imagined the sound of flapping wings because he had wished so badly to hear it.

"We are and I do." Castiel's voice reached his ear and Dean turned around.

The angel was standing right in front of him.

"Cas…" Dean held his breath. "_We are and I do_?"

"We are able to feel love the way humans do. And I do feel the same about you." With those words Castiel closed the space between them and brought their lips together in one single gentle kiss.

Dean stared back at him in disbelief, his heart racing at the sensation of Castiel's lips against his own. "I don't deserve this."

The angel kissed him again. "I told you, Dean. All I ever did for you, all the time I spend with you, I did it of my own free will and not because someone ordered me to. You're not my charge, Dean. You are so much more. And if something happened to you I would rush to your side not because I am your guardian angel but because I love you more than anything on Earth or in Heaven."

"Cas…" Dean found himself unable to speak, so he pressed his lips against the angel's putting all the fear, anger, confusion, gratitude and love into this one kiss. For tonight, he knew, Matt's prayers would be unanswered.


End file.
